I’m not going to waste time. I know why you’re here, you know why you’re here. You want to see a grown man get a mayonnaise bath, and I’m not going to hold you back from that any longer.
The Duke’s Mayo Bowl turned a sleepy Thursday afternoon into the sports event of the holiday season. North and South Carolina fighting for condiment supremacy, with the Gamecocks winning 38-21 in a game that never really felt close. Head coach Shane Beamer got a mayo bath after the victory.
Let’s face it. The game itself was really secondary here unless you have a strong affinity for either team. That was just the amuse bouche required to get some hot mayo action, and damn did the game supply it. Outside of the mayo bath itself we got to see it’s horrific, gruesome preparation — which none of us were really prepared for.
And while the bath was the moment, there was so much more. We had Mike Golic Jr. and Anish Schroff chowing down on Oreos dipped in mayo, which presumably is a thing someone in the world enjoys.
That person was Mike himself. He loved the hell out of his ghoulish snack. Meanwhile poor Anish looked like he was about to puke in their wastepaper bin on the set. Honestly, that’s an appropriate response I think.
There are probably a lot of mayo purists out there who can’t imagine ruining perfection with the addition of cookies. Rest assured, you were covered too — because a South Carolina cheerleader didn’t need any fancy new ways to down some mayo. Dude just went at a jar with a spoon like a normal person.
Other than waiting to do the mayo dump during the trophy presentation, everything about the Duke’s Mayo Bowl was perfect. We had a polarizing condiment, creating strong opinions all game long, couched in something we all understand. Nobody can have strong feelings about “TaxSlayer,” but give us items in our pantry and we’ll all jump into the fun.
That’s the real lesson here. Sports are supposed to be fun. Bowl games are supposed to be fun. Football is important, but making everything entertaining is the ideal. This afternoon in North Carolina, we got fun … and it was magical.