“Today is Elliot’s due date,” the Siesta Key star, 27, shared via Instagram on Saturday, January 1, alongside a photo of her son’s name tattooed on her arm. “The day we were supposed to bring our baby home to snuggle and pass around the family. The day he would meet all his aunts and uncles and grandparents. The very first grandchild of my family. Instead, today marks 3 weeks since I gave birth to my sleeping little Angel. Three weeks since I last held him in my arms and kissed his perfect precious cheeks.”
Hausburg and her husband, Ish Soto, announced the stillbirth on December 21. The Florida native revealed the memory box she left the hospital with on December 12, which revealed her son’s full name, Elliot Angel Soto.
In her New Year’s Day message, Hausburg detailed how she was struggling both mentally and physically after the loss of her baby. “I am stuck in this limbo of being a new mother and not being able to mother my son,” she explained. “My body still physically aches to feed my baby boy. My heart and mind still can’t process that he’s gone. Everything triggers me…finding his pajamas in the laundry or just walking through the grocery store as I did a hundred times when he was in my tummy. I feel so broken and lost without my son. They say ‘grief is just love with no place to go.’ I feel that so deeply right now.”
The MTV reality star thanked both fans and friends for reaching out to console her and the producer as well as those who share their own stories of child loss.
“You have no idea how much it means to us and helps us feel less alone,” she added. “I am learning more and more about stillbirth, miscarriage, and infant loss. It breaks my heart that so many people go through this nightmare and can relate to this pain. I sincerely hope everyone has a beautiful New Year and 2022 brings new joy and new hope. Please keep our little Elliot in your thoughts and prayers 👼.”
She also explained that she wasn’t planning to get more ink. The elegant cursive tattoo of Elliot’s name sits on her forearm and was done by tattoo artist Justin Villalobos, who is tagged in the photo.
“My first and only tattoo, to forever carry you in my arms. I love you infinitely, baby E!” the newlywed wrote.
Hausburg and Soto married in October, two months after they announced that they were expecting a child. “We are beyond excited to finally share the news of our baby,” the duo confirmed to Us Weekly in August. “We already love this little baby so much and can’t wait to meet them.”
Soto noted that going through the happiness of getting married and the tragic loss of his son made 2021 incredibly difficult. “2021…a year that brought me to my highest highs, marrying my best friend,” he shared on Friday, December 31, via Instagram. “It was also the year that delivered my lowest most painful low, the loss of my son Eli. Life can be tough but we push forward.”