which songs will define the Liberal and Labor campaigns?

Get the tune proper, like Gough’s “It’s Time”, and also you’ll cement your home in political historical past. Get it incorrect and also you’ll be a part of Theresa May within the sixth layer of hell, hopping, skipping and leaping your approach by means of ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”.

Having labored within the distant previous on political campaigns and within the rock road press, Crikey humourist Tom Red is nicely positioned to shed some gentle on the traditional artwork of music choice. 

The Liberal Party

According to Scott Morrison’s private pollster and branding guide, Tina Arena’s music was essentially the most helpful demographic match for his daggy dad rebranding. But that doesn’t routinely imply her songs can be match for a marketing campaign launch. For instance, Morrison can be well-advised to keep away from bangers similar to “Chains” or “I Want Your Body” for apparent causes. Even “Sorrento Moon” is problematic now, given Greg Hunt is retiring and the Mornington Peninsular is filthy with teal-tinged Climate 200 sorts. Here’s the Liberal Party’s present shortlist, which was discovered within the Parliament House prayer room, amongst different objects. 

“Working in a Coal Mine” (DEVO)

Pro: A incredible dance observe bursting with steamy double entendres that just a few outdated faces will take pleasure in from their new spots on the backbench. The observe has numerous razzle dazzle however is basically meaningless. Which is bang on model. And, importantly, the large donors will dig it. 

Con: The donors will probably be seen digging it. 

“The Only Way Is Up” (Yazz)

Pro: Anthemic, over-caffeinated and impeccably optimistic, this Yazz belter is a intelligent subliminal nod to the late Eighties and the giddy thrill of leveraged buyouts and late-stage Thatcherism. Peter Costello and Alexander Downer will bust a transfer. 

Con: You’ve been on the helm for 9 years however the one approach is up? That’s not intelligent advertising, it’s a bedside confession. 

“Coal Makes Me Cum” (DJ Scomo + The Chaser)

Pro: Rush-released straight after the current leaders’ debate, this observe is funky, contemporary and new. It’s topical and edgy, not one thing individuals normally affiliate with the Liberal Party model. It’s additionally searingly trustworthy. 

Con: None. They actually ought to use it. Really. 

The Labor Party

No stranger to the wheels of metal, DJ Albo will little question have remaining say over which anthem he bounds onto the stage to on the marketing campaign launch in Perth on Sunday. We have been fortunate to seek out what gave the impression to be a Labor shortlist in a canine park in Stanmore, scribbled on the again of a craft beer coaster.

“Working Class Man” (Jimmy Barnes)

Pro: It’s standard and nearly on model. Because Barnsey is a mate of Albo, he’s unlikely to forbid him from utilizing it, as Johnny Marr from The Smiths famously did to David Cameron. 

Con: Could remind the rusted-ons simply how far the occasion has drifted. While “Aspirational Class Man” can be extra apt, it’s a bugger to rhyme. “Working Class Man” was additionally written in America, by an American, about Americans, and is due to this fact completely devoid of any antipodean references. 

“Who Can It Be Now?” (Men at Work)

Pro: Catchy, memorable and defiantly Aussie. Harking again to the early Eighties, it’s a subliminal nod to the joyous, hopeful daybreak of the Hawke–Keating period, again when being Labor was one thing you can cop to with out the uncomfortable clarifications.  

Con: Who can or not it’s now? Well, precisely. Not even the Young Libs might mess that meme up. Or might they? 

Blitzkrieg Bop (Hey Ho, Let’s Go) The Ramones

Pro: Exciting, inclusive and overtly lively. Its title instantly addresses Labor’s perceived weak spot on all issues khaki. Being from the Left, Albo might have picked that different Ramones basic, “The KKK Took My Baby Away”. The reality he didn’t would converse to his rising maturity as a frontrunner. Or maybe to his complete capitulation to the impure centrists — it is dependent upon which Marrickville micro-brewery you’re in on the time.

Con: It got here out greater than 45 years in the past and the unique members are actually lengthy useless. The Ramones legend continues right this moment, however solely on younger supporters’ branded T-shirts. They fortunately put on the brand, however with out actually figuring out why all of it mattered a lot as soon as. Not not like the Labor Party. 

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