Kimmel on baby formula shortage: ‘Never been a better time to force women to have kids’ | Late-night TV roundup

Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy Kimmel opened Tuesday’s present with the nationwide scarcity on child formulation, which has left mother and father determined and led authorities to warn individuals to not attempt to make their very own recipe. “I don’t know – I’m sure the ivermectin and bleach people could figure this out for us,” Kimmel deadpanned. “Just mix you up some Gatorade and some baby powder, throw in some breakfast sausage and it blend it up real good, the baby should be fine.

“That is a tough spot to be in, not having baby formula,” he continued. “Because what are you going to do? You can’t go to Wendy’s and get them a Frosty. You have to have the formula.

“I’ll tell ya, there’s never been a better time for the supreme court to force women to have more kids than right now,” he joked.

In different “baby” information, Elon Musk mentioned he would reverse Twitter’s ban on Donald Trump if his deal to purchase the social media firm goes by way of. Speaking by way of video hyperlink at a automotive convention organized by the Financial Times, Musk referred to as the ban “a morally bad decision to be clear – and foolish in the extreme”.

“Oh good, we have the part-time DJ who makes flamethrowers and cars that fart in charge of morality now,” mentioned Kimmel. “The guy who named his kids after Roman numerals will make sure we don’t do anything foolish.

“But if Trump does go back on Twitter, he’s going to need a phone, which he claims he doesn’t have,” Kimmel added. New York’s legal professional common has ordered Trump to show over 4 cellphones as a part of an investigation into his enterprise, however he’s claimed the telephones are lacking. He’s at the moment held in contempt of court docket on the tune of $10,000 a day.

In addition, “Trump says he hasn’t used email, text messages or a computer for work in more than a decade, and I actually believe that,” Kimmel mentioned. “Because I can’t imagine him sitting at a laptop doing work. Here’s how I bet Trump works: he probably has some former strip bouncer who works for him, named Vinny St Cleveland or Bobby Cabbage or something, who stands outside his bathroom with brief case of Diet Cokes while Trump shouts things like, ‘Put an offer in to buy the Indian Ocean!’ through the door.

“And then Vinny or Bobby will use a burner phone to call some Republican with an ulcer who has to explain that the Indian Ocean isn’t for sale,” he continued. “And by the time he gets done, Trump’s already asleep on the toilet. When he wakes up, it’s time to climb into the golf cart and eat a pie, right? That’s how it goes.”

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers touched on studies that Joe Biden warned his nationwide safety officers that current press leaks about intelligence sharing with Ukraine might additional inflame tensions with Russia. “So remember, the Ukrainian people have our full support, but if anyone asks, no they don’t,” Meyers joked.

Meanwhile, congressional Republicans are reportedly cut up over what to do if the supreme court docket formally overturns Roe v Wade, as final week’s leaked draft opinion signifies. “Apparently they can’t decide between a ticker tape parade or a dance party,” Meyers joked.

The Senate has handed a invoice to broaden safety for supreme court docket justices, “and just in time – did you see how close that lunatic got to Clarence Thomas?” Meyers mentioned over a photograph of Thomas together with his spouse Ginni, who tried to assist Trump officers overturn the 2020 election and has peddled ludicrous conspiracy theories.

And officers in Nevada mentioned they’ve discovered quite a few human stays in Lake Mead as water ranges drop throughout an ongoing drought. “On the upside, the mafia is now very invested in stopping climate change,” Meyers quipped.

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